The Deck Builders

They showed up at 7:30 a.m. Two men in T shirts with the company logo stenciled in black letters just above their bulging pectorals. After introducing themselves as Mike and Mike, they asked for permission to park in the alley and use the back gate. The deck and back stair demolition was about to begin!

The deck is supported by hefty wooden posts and some hideous struts now rotting with age. The latest incarnation of the stairs are only about ten years old but shaking and cracked and a visual blight on this Victorian house. We only bought the house 3 years ago, so we weren’t responsible for the structures in look or quality. We just want them gone.

I knew, of course, that the guys wouldn’t knock down the supports first.  That would be too dangerous, and they couldn’t do the stairs first or how would they get up to the deck? Well, right on one count. Buzz. Buzz. THUNK! The stair landing came down first and then the stairs! And the landing came down in a strange way. Instead of taking up the planks to the very end, one of the Mikes sawed off the planks just inside where they were fastened on to the framing. Then after that, they knocked down the frame. But not a leaf of a plant was disturbed. How did they do that???

I am not sure how, after taking down the stairs, the other Mike got on to the deck, but there he was, sawing away at those planks. He must have used a ladder. I don’t want to stand there and watch them constantly; that seems rude. In any case, after most of the deck was down I realized that I’d forgotten to remove the wrought iron birdfeeder hangers from the deck railing.

I went out back to search for them but Mike and Mike had put them aside so I didn’t have to sift through a pile of debris. In fact, I didn’t see hardly any debris. They must be magically levitating it away or something.

Next peek: huge holes have appeared in the ground! Oh my! The supports for the new deck and stairs need that much concrete?? Or are they getting rid of a corpse? Oh My God! Desperately looks for her “home improvement” manual.What will be next?

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~ by mickeyhoffman on May 26, 2009.

10 Responses to “The Deck Builders”

  1. I think you cheated on the WAG too. LOL. Did not understand how this was a dress for success but an interesting read. Sounds like you hired yoursome a good ‘Mike and mike team’. lol.

    Cheers.

  2. I love home improvment (NOT)!! Reading your piece reminded me of a room addition – then I got the cold sweats.

    Brenda M. from the wag group!

  3. […] Mickey Hoffman Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)On growing old […]

  4. It’s so nice when the contractors you hire turn out to be, not just competent, but terrific. I’ve had it both ways. I could not help but like these guys. And who am I to say anything about cheating? 😉 Good piece.
    ~jon

  5. I don’t think you cheated – but then what do I know?! The guys had their company logos on their shirts, so it was important that they did a good job. That way their company is succesful because they get more work. Dressed for success QED.

  6. I am always fascinated by the various pieces that the “assignments” generate and my own school girl reaction to other people’s story telling. Fun read. thanks for sharing! 🙂

  7. Somehow, I think using the instructions as a “guideline” for creativity works better than using them as commandments, so to speak. 😉

    This was really interesting. My parents were always the type to renovate themselves, so I’ve never seen this before!

  8. […] Mickey Hoffman […]

  9. It

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